Life can change in an instant

Back in August we learned that we were once again blessed to be pregnant with baby number 3!  We had went in at 7 weeks 3 days and had an ultrasound and saw the heartbeat.  Everything was great!  I had a few more appointments after that and heard that good strong heartbeat.  Always in the 150s or 160s.   I had our first ultrasound scheduled for December 10th.  The first ultrasound always makes me nervous because you just want to see the baby and know everything is ok.  So December 10th we head for our ultrasound and wow how life can change in an instant....


The tech started our ultrasound and one of the first things she said to us was "Oh...you are having twins?"  Jason and I were both like we are what!?  No we aren't.  There is only one."  Well I saw the 2 heads right away so I knew, it was just shocking to be almost 21 weeks and just finding out.  We were soo excited.  She starts doing the ultrasound and she is doing all the measurements on baby A.  She finishes and starts baby B and it doesn't take long.  She tells me I can go to the bathroom and she is going to get the doctor to take a look.  I knew in my heart something was wrong.  I even said it to Jason before I walked out to the bathroom.  The doctor came in and quietly looked at the babies too and then gave us the devastating news.  We did have 2 babies in there but they were conjoined at the chest and sharing a heart.  This was at 5pm on Friday.  They were on the phone calling my doctor but she was of course gone.  They left a message with the on call doctor who said he was going to get her the message and for us to call her first thing Monday morning.  We had so many emotions in a short period of time and now we had the whole weekend to wait and really know nothing at all except that this was not a good situation.


Monday morning my doctor called me right away.  She was sending me to a Perinatologist because this was something she has never dealt with.  My doctor is great.  She called and talked directly with the doctor and told her what was going on.  I just had to call and make an appointment.  Thankfully they got me in the very next day (which was today)


So today we went to the doctor.  We were in having the ultrasound done for about 1 1/2 hours with the tech.  Then the doctor came in for about 1 hour.  She confirmed the findings from Friday but at least now we have more details and a better understanding of what is going on.  Our sweet babies do share a heart.  They also share a liver.  Its a lot to take in but this is our understanding of what has happened.  Instead of having the 8 chambers between the 2 of them that they should have they only have 6.  Not good at all.  It would not be possible to separate them because their heart is defective and one couldn't survive with it.  They wont be able to survive together with a heart that really doesn't have everything it needs.  I don't even know if I make sense or how to explain it.  The doctor told us that either we can choose to terminate the pregnancy now or we can go on with the pregnancy and deliver the babies when the time comes.  There is no way...especially after seeing them for 2 1/2 hours that I could make the choice to terminate. Our babies are perfect in there, they aren't suffering and will not suffer. So for me personally I want to carry them as long as I can and give them any chance they have. So our plan is to continue on.  There is of course a good chance they could be stillborn.  I believe she said 30% chance of that.  Once they are born the babies will most likely pass away shortly after birth.  We will deliver sometime between 34 and 39 weeks depending on how the babies are doing in there and how my health is of course. 


Its still a complete shock to me I think.  It is not something you ever think you would have to go through.  These are not decisions I ever imagined we would have to make.  Ive never felt so many emotions together at once.  I'm sad, I'm angry and pissed off, when I feel them kicking away in there it brings me joy.  I have to accept that if we are only suppose to know them for 6 months in my belly, or 7 months or however many, or if we are suppose to get 1 hour or 1 day with them here on earth then that is how it is suppose to be.  Its not easy at all.  I feel like I'm on the verge of a breakdown at any moment but I know we will all be ok.  The babies included.  God will take GREAT care of our sweet babies.


I'm sure some of you might be wondering....its 2 sweet little baby girls!  We are naming them Ava Laurel and Teagan Marie.


We are going back tomorrow morning to see another doctor in the practice who I guess specializes in hearts.  Then we will go from there as far as seeing if they think we need to see a cardiologist or not. 


For those of you that pray many prayers for my family to get through this would be appreciated :)  and many prayers for baby Ava and Teagan to never have to suffer or feel any pain.  I love these 2 little girls so much and wish things were different.  There is a reason this has happened though and they will be our special little angels.  :)


I'm going to keep this updated for those that wish to follow know what is going on.




Here are some pictures we wanted to share with everyone :)

This is the both babies legs and feet all together.  I love this picture!

Profile view of one baby with her hand up by her face

Another profile view of her with hand by her mouth

Arm and hand

The babies legs.  Their knees are touching in this one

Another shot of one of the babies legs

Baby B...cute little face!  We had a hard time getting one of her face because she is facing down towards my spine

Another one of an arm and hand

Looking down at both of the babies heads

Leg and foot

Baby A...another cute little face!

Oh and by the way...I cant take credit for the name of our blog.  Stevens Twins: Linked with Love is all Jason :)