Not feeling so well

I woke up Monday at about 2am with a fever of 102. I had it all night and all day Monday. It would come down to 100ish with tylenol. I went to bed Monday night and when I woke up Tuesday morning it was completely gone. I took it when I woke up and it was 97.5. I was fine all day and then last night about 930 it came back. I was up all night with 102 fever again...not fun. I called my dr this morning and he sent me to the hospital to be checked out and monitor the babies. They checked my urine which was normal. They did blood work, flu test and strep test. My blood work was all normal and the flu and strep test came back negative. They said it just seems to be a virus of some sort. Its weird because I haven't felt sick at all besides feeling yucky from the fever and a headache which I'm thinking is from not enough sleep. The dr did an ultrasound and the babies are ok. Their heart rate was 140 and I am not having any contractions at all. She did a quick measurement on them and one is measuring 21 weeks 5 days and one is 21 weeks 6 days. I am 23 weeks 2 days now. She did check me and I am 1cm dilated and she said 80% effaced but when she did a vaginal ultrasound to check my cervical length it was 3.5cm which is good. She said to just do pelvic rest at least until I see my doctor for my appt next week. Right now my temp is 100 and I'm hoping when I wake up tomorrow its totally normal. I am so paranoid with everything that anything out of the norm freaks me out! I'm just glad to know our sweet girls are ok. Time to go get some rest :)

A belly for Two!

Thought Id share some pictures of what my growing belly looks like with 2 little princesses in there :)  The newest one I have is when I was 20 weeks so I need to get a new one since Im 22 weeks now.  It is growing thats for sure!

16 weeks

18 weeks

19 weeks

20 week close up

20 weeks

Thank you

I just wanted to take a minute to say thank you to everyone for all the kind words you have left and all the prayers that are being said even by people that do not even know us.  It really means a lot to us to see all those that care for our sweet girls :)


Last Thursday my doctors office called and asked me if I could come back for another ultrasound.  My doctor had been talking to a doctor at Stanford that knows a lot about this.  He knew of a few cases that were very similar to how our babies heart is so he wanted to see more pictures and videos of their heart and the vessels coming from it.  My doctor said hopefully by him looking at it and having a few other cases to go by he can give us a better idea of what to expect for the babies once they are born.  Even if its to know what to do to make sure they are comfortable for whatever time they are here for it will be helpful to us. Im sure its impossible to ever find a case exactly like ours but every opinion counts.  I have an appointment with my doctor on January 4th so I will find out what he said then.  As for now I'm suppose to have an appointment next week with a cardiologist.  I'm just waiting for my doctors office to call and let me know when they set it up for.  Hopefully he can explain things to me better so I have a better understanding because to be honest last week was crazy.  3 days of doctors appointments with sooo much information being told to us was pure craziness.  I was emotional mess and really couldn't process it all.  Its been a rough 9 days but we are hanging in there.   For now I'm enjoying every movement I feel from them and trying not to think of what is to come.  I know I have to soon but for now I'm just going to enjoy what I have right now :)


Once again thank you to everyone....those we know and those we dont know...for all of the thoughts and prayers for our family.

Few more updates

We had another appointment today with a doctor in the practice that deals with patients who have babies with heart defects or issues.  Another long ultrasound.  We were there for about 3 1/2 hours.  We found out that the babies don't have the total of 6 chambers they had thought yesterday but only 4.  There is also something with the vessels that pump blood from the heart that isn't right.  Its doing it but now how it typically does.  Something like that.  Its all so complicated and hard for me to explain so if I really don't make sense I'm sorry.  The way these sweet girls heart is it would be impossible to ever separate them and save one, which I couldn't even imagine having to go through. It will be extremely hard for the heart to work for both of them.  All very difficult things to hear but also things I already knew and expected. 


I had many questions for the doctor and will have many more along the way.  This is what the plan is to take care of me and our baby girls.  I will be seeing a cardiologist in a few weeks that will look at their hearts also to confirm all the findings.  I will be seeing 2 doctors every few weeks for now then once a week once we get closer.  One is the doctor that specialized in hearts and then a perintologist who will be the doctor that will deliver the babies.  How long I carry them just all depends on my health and how the babies are doing in there.  If anything happens with me they will deliver right away.  We just have to take it day by day and see how they are doing in there at each appointment.  Once they are here nothing is done above and beyond for them.  They will keep them comfortable and that is all.  All I want is for those sweet girls to be at peace and feel nothing but love.  That will not be a problem at all because we already love them very much!!


For now all I can do is cherish every single kick, punch, nudge or whatever it is there doing in there to me :)  Jason can sometimes feels them now too so he can enjoy that with me.


Thanks everyone for the thoughts and prayers for our family.


Sorry if I didn't make sense in some parts.  I just typed it and didn't think twice or go back over and read it. 

Life can change in an instant

Back in August we learned that we were once again blessed to be pregnant with baby number 3!  We had went in at 7 weeks 3 days and had an ultrasound and saw the heartbeat.  Everything was great!  I had a few more appointments after that and heard that good strong heartbeat.  Always in the 150s or 160s.   I had our first ultrasound scheduled for December 10th.  The first ultrasound always makes me nervous because you just want to see the baby and know everything is ok.  So December 10th we head for our ultrasound and wow how life can change in an instant....


The tech started our ultrasound and one of the first things she said to us was "Oh...you are having twins?"  Jason and I were both like we are what!?  No we aren't.  There is only one."  Well I saw the 2 heads right away so I knew, it was just shocking to be almost 21 weeks and just finding out.  We were soo excited.  She starts doing the ultrasound and she is doing all the measurements on baby A.  She finishes and starts baby B and it doesn't take long.  She tells me I can go to the bathroom and she is going to get the doctor to take a look.  I knew in my heart something was wrong.  I even said it to Jason before I walked out to the bathroom.  The doctor came in and quietly looked at the babies too and then gave us the devastating news.  We did have 2 babies in there but they were conjoined at the chest and sharing a heart.  This was at 5pm on Friday.  They were on the phone calling my doctor but she was of course gone.  They left a message with the on call doctor who said he was going to get her the message and for us to call her first thing Monday morning.  We had so many emotions in a short period of time and now we had the whole weekend to wait and really know nothing at all except that this was not a good situation.


Monday morning my doctor called me right away.  She was sending me to a Perinatologist because this was something she has never dealt with.  My doctor is great.  She called and talked directly with the doctor and told her what was going on.  I just had to call and make an appointment.  Thankfully they got me in the very next day (which was today)


So today we went to the doctor.  We were in having the ultrasound done for about 1 1/2 hours with the tech.  Then the doctor came in for about 1 hour.  She confirmed the findings from Friday but at least now we have more details and a better understanding of what is going on.  Our sweet babies do share a heart.  They also share a liver.  Its a lot to take in but this is our understanding of what has happened.  Instead of having the 8 chambers between the 2 of them that they should have they only have 6.  Not good at all.  It would not be possible to separate them because their heart is defective and one couldn't survive with it.  They wont be able to survive together with a heart that really doesn't have everything it needs.  I don't even know if I make sense or how to explain it.  The doctor told us that either we can choose to terminate the pregnancy now or we can go on with the pregnancy and deliver the babies when the time comes.  There is no way...especially after seeing them for 2 1/2 hours that I could make the choice to terminate. Our babies are perfect in there, they aren't suffering and will not suffer. So for me personally I want to carry them as long as I can and give them any chance they have. So our plan is to continue on.  There is of course a good chance they could be stillborn.  I believe she said 30% chance of that.  Once they are born the babies will most likely pass away shortly after birth.  We will deliver sometime between 34 and 39 weeks depending on how the babies are doing in there and how my health is of course. 


Its still a complete shock to me I think.  It is not something you ever think you would have to go through.  These are not decisions I ever imagined we would have to make.  Ive never felt so many emotions together at once.  I'm sad, I'm angry and pissed off, when I feel them kicking away in there it brings me joy.  I have to accept that if we are only suppose to know them for 6 months in my belly, or 7 months or however many, or if we are suppose to get 1 hour or 1 day with them here on earth then that is how it is suppose to be.  Its not easy at all.  I feel like I'm on the verge of a breakdown at any moment but I know we will all be ok.  The babies included.  God will take GREAT care of our sweet babies.


I'm sure some of you might be wondering....its 2 sweet little baby girls!  We are naming them Ava Laurel and Teagan Marie.


We are going back tomorrow morning to see another doctor in the practice who I guess specializes in hearts.  Then we will go from there as far as seeing if they think we need to see a cardiologist or not. 


For those of you that pray many prayers for my family to get through this would be appreciated :)  and many prayers for baby Ava and Teagan to never have to suffer or feel any pain.  I love these 2 little girls so much and wish things were different.  There is a reason this has happened though and they will be our special little angels.  :)


I'm going to keep this updated for those that wish to follow know what is going on.




Here are some pictures we wanted to share with everyone :)

This is the both babies legs and feet all together.  I love this picture!

Profile view of one baby with her hand up by her face

Another profile view of her with hand by her mouth

Arm and hand

The babies legs.  Their knees are touching in this one

Another shot of one of the babies legs

Baby B...cute little face!  We had a hard time getting one of her face because she is facing down towards my spine

Another one of an arm and hand

Looking down at both of the babies heads

Leg and foot

Baby A...another cute little face!

Oh and by the way...I cant take credit for the name of our blog.  Stevens Twins: Linked with Love is all Jason :)